www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9i9jIuQTQg

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Our stories of recovery from the ravages of alcoholism and substance abuse carry power out in the parking lot, in our church community and in our homes.

I’m Kathy Drewien and I am in long-term recovery, which means that I have not used alcohol for more than 30 years. I am committed to recovery because it has given me and my family new purpose and hope for the future, while helping me gain stability in my life. I am now speaking out because long-term recovery has helped me change my life for the better, and I want to make it possible for others to do the same.

You are not alone

If your late night internet search has led you to this post, welcome. You can send a confidential message at any time. We’re listening.

Film producer Jack Sinclair has a genuine passion to document the experience of a younger population in need of and accepting sobriety. His riveting documentary, Twelve: Is there life after rehab in recovery? catalogues the decline, fall, and resurrected lives of 20 or so faces and voices dealing with the harsh reality of addiction.  The recovery experiences are brought into focus by delving into the individual circumstances that help identify needs, examining the arduous process of connecting, and sharing candidly the struggles that are often typical of a younger group going through the healing process. Most have found long term solutions as well as becoming integrated into the world they once withdrew from. 

To view selected sequences of this award winning documentary, and to get more information on the project, go to Twelve.

Click on Recovery Walk for more information on this event and comments by participants

Article by Lauren Adams, WPSDLocal6 News, Paducah, KY

How does the church approach an effective response with a heart of kindness and mercy? Can a response be informed by a new theological understanding based on the language of the recovery community? Why is it that those in need so often back away from the faith community? How can religious leaders be equipped to be helpers to others, to find the right resources, and to lead those in need “home to God”?

This video is a segment from the documentary, Recovering Nation. The full program is available free of charge to clergy, through the Hanley Center in West Palm Beach. Made Possible by the Hanley Family Foundation.

The Hanley Family Foundation, Inc. (HFF) was created to advance the prevention, diagnosis and treatment of alcoholism, chemical dependency and addictive behavior, including support for related research and education.  

Additional inquiries and questions may  be directed to the Hanley Family Foundation here. 

More information about Hanley Center programs and orders for RECOVERING NATION, the documentary DVD that explores the complex relationship between addiction and religion, can be requested here.

The word of mouth “grapevine” had a way of spreading. Over time I was approached by a number of others in the church seeking help for loved ones under similar circumstances – almost invariably being approached in the church parking lot, after the Sunday service or some event. Occasionally, I would even get a call from clergy asking how familiar I was with the regular weekly AA meetings hosted by the church and whether I would be willing talk to somebody who might benefit.

At some point, out of sheer curiosity regarding the United Methodist Church’s take on recognizing and handling addictive disorders, I surfed the web and stumbled upon the church’s Special Program on Substance Abuse and Related Violence (SPSARV). I made a few calls.

Ultimately I was put in contact with Faith Partners.

After long discussions, I realized that the idea of bridging the divide between the congregation and the twelve step groups that met at the church was a natural fit. I enrolled in the leadership training and began to approach the church staff. I suggested that after some time of wandering the parking lot, talking about alcoholism and addiction, and the impact that it had on so many families in the church (including some who’d decided to leave the church out of shame, or guilt, or to seek help elsewhere) I thought maybe we should move this dialog from the asphalt and into the church. I was encouraged to see if this was indeed something that might either be useful or drive people away.

I asked around the church, inquiring if the idea of openly talking about addiction and recovery was alright in church, whether it was an appropriate topic, whether people might find it in some way offensive, and whether members might even leave. I received a minimum amount of pushback, with only a couple of people feeling that is was a risky idea, but for the broad majority saying it was not just a good idea, but an obvious one. I decided that having a few people wave a caution flag was a good thing. After all, I thought, if a recovery ministry was such a clear and obvious idea, why hadn’t one been put together years ago.

I was eventually put on the church calendar and introduced the idea to three separate services one Sunday. In my prepared 10 minute appeal, I spoke to probably 800 people, telling them of my personal adventures before, what happened, and the way my life had turned so miraculously around. I related how important it was to have close ties with the recovery community, why outreach was so significant for the community of believers, and whether there might be 1 or 2 sitting in those pews that felt similarly and would be interested in developing a ministry response. Privately, I felt that while talking one on one produced positive responses, I didn’t expect open appeals in church services to yield much at all. To my surprise, I received 46 inquiries and requests for information. For me it felt like Moses tapping the rock in Meribah, and water (volunteers) springing forth. We were on our way.

A couple years later, the composition of our church’s Faith Partners team has most of the same respondents, and a few additional ones. Our team commitment is growing even more, as we host regular meetings, discussion forums, build a burgeoning recovery library, develop an expansive directory of community resources, advocacy, a budding prison outreach, and outreach efforts aimed at addressing addiction among the indigent community. And of course, we talk. We talk to those in need, to primaries and to families, and to those who are just curious. We talk person to person, and on the phone, and through emails, and yes…we still talk out in the parking lot as well.

Rick Drewien
Faith Partners Coordinator
Mt Zion UMC

This new book is the text for the Faith Partners Team building ministry. In recent years, Faith Partners has enhanced a team ministry model that engages lay congregational members in awareness, referral and support for individuals and families afflicted and affected by alcoholism and drug addiction. This book is the story of that work and a resource document for its replication. The authors bring a passion for this work drawn from abundant restoration of human potential and a skill for contextual program design and teaching. Trish Merrill, founder of Faith Partners, is a public health nurse with broad and varied experience in parish service and public policy. Johnny Allem, past-president for the Johnson Institute, brings a career in journalism, business, government, and non-profit management. 

• The accepted view of alcoholism as a treatable disease
•  Barriers to remove in order to facilitate healing
• How Faith Teams can work in a healing environment
• How to organize a team ministry
• Leadership training ideas for the team ministry
• How to deliver specific services to the congregation and community
• The role of pastors as coaches
• How to nurture change for everyone, especially people in difficulty
•  Ideas to honor the fact and people of recovery

To order your copy of “Healing Places” call 1-888-451-9527, or email Trish Merrill at trishmerrill@faith-partners.org or Drew Brooks at drewbrooks@faith-partners.org

Rev. Sloan

Families and friends who love someone addicted to alcohol or other drugs have experienced emotional pain that only another who has been in the same place can understand. One who has never experienced loving and being loved by an addict might say, “Why don’t you just leave them?” But would this be a valid solution if the afflicted person had cancer or diabetes? No, of course not.

Families and friends can help by:

• Attending workshops on addiction
• Going to open AA or NA meetings and learning firsthand from folks who have lived through the grip of addiction
• Becoming a member of an Al-Anon family group.

Family members can play an integral part in the addict’s full recovery, but only if they are willing to work as hard at being a part of the solution as they have worked at being part of the problem. This not meant to be a criticism, only a statement of truth.

Everyone is reluctant to change what’s familiar. It is like having an old favorite pair of bedroom slippers. Though worn and ugly, they are comfortable and one is used to them. If one gets a new pair, will they feel the same … will there be a period of adjustment…will one miss wearing the old ones?

If you grew up in an alcoholic family, more likely than not you married an alcoholic. Somewhere in the back of your mind you found yourself doing the same things you promised yourself you would never do. Adult children of alcoholics find themselves married to someone they thought they could change or control.

Following are some characteristics of a person brought up in an alcoholic home:**

• Hero–the well-adjusted child in the family who has it all together. They get good grades, are the star of the football team, and strive for perfection as validation. They need to be in control, but everything in their lives is out of control.
• Scapegoat–the child who gets into trouble. He or she unconsciously chooses to be the “one problem” so that the other members of family will take their focus off the alcoholic/addict.
• Lost Child–the “good one” who never does anything wrong to the extent of being lost in the shuffle. They grow up and typically marry someone they can take care of and/or fix.
• Mascot–the child who makes the family laugh. They bring relief to the situation by putting on a comic mask to ease the emotional pain in the household.
• Chief Enabler–usually the spouse who tries everything to “keep the secret.” They try to keep the family intact while it is falling apart. The only sense of relief the enabler might get is a brief period of sobriety the addict might demonstrate in response to a threat from that spouse. As the disease progresses, the enabler might feel a bit like a juggler with too many balls in the air. Eventually, this family member gets “sick and tried of being sick and tired” and either leaves and/or goes into recovery.

The importance of family members’ involvement in their own recovery cannot be overstressed. The family can and does make a difference in getting someone into a program of recovery. Just by becoming a member of Al-Anon, the family member learns: they didn’t cause it, they can’t control it, and they can’t cure it. The Three Cs of Al-Anon (also adopted by Alateen) provide relief and freedom to many people.

Freedom from depending on someone to provide our happiness is the start of the road to recovery. All kinds of miracles can happen when we decide we have had enough. It is time to quit playing to blame game and begin a journey toward freedom.

Pray this prayer with me:

God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I can not change
COURAGE to change the things I can;
And the WISDOM to know the difference.

*From a letter to the clearinghouse for the Al-Anon family groups, which are an outgrowth of AA; 1990, Understanding and Counseling the Alcoholic by Howard Clinebell.

**From Counseling the Chemically Dependent by Rickey L. George.

Originally published by SPSARV & the United Methodist General Board of Global Ministries. Permission granted to reprint. 

Rev. Cynthia Sloan serves as program associate for the United Methodist Special Program on Substance Abuse and Related Violence (SPSARV), where she coordinates the delivery of training and resources for clergy and congregational ministry development. An ordained deacon of the Western North Carolina Conference, Rev. Sloan is a licensed clinical addictions specialist in the state of North Carolina.